X post from Friday, March 21, 2014

"@BrownsMakeMeUgh: It's very important that he fills out his March Madness bracket on SportsCenter while Putin takes over eastern Europe"

Great news! I have just been informed that one of the biggest, best, and smartest Retailers in America, Walmart, will be lowering prices, by a lot, at my Administration's request…

There is nothing Americans can’t do except get Voter ID (Identification), Proof of Citizenship or, most importantly of all, TERMINATE THE FILIBUSTER (which the Democrats will do i…

THE TRUMP ECONOMY IS SOARING! The Stock Market just completed its BEST QUARTER since the last time I was President. The S&P 500, Nasdaq, and Dow are all SURGING, sending Americans…

Today I am declaring a National Scallops Day to celebrate an action taken by the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) that will open up the Northern Edge of Geor…

Just as I promised, Oil Prices are plummeting FAST, and Gas Prices at the pump are dropping too, but not as fast as they should be. As we approach America’s 250th Birthday, I am p…